Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
