I'm jealous of your bromance
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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