Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think I am morally bankrupt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
