You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
