I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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