I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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