my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
