I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
