I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
