Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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