I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
whose ass print is on the piano?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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