If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
