Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
