Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
