Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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