How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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