he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
