I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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