Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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