who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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