I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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