Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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