real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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