I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just pee around me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
