Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
