Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
