Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize