Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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