Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
