have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so let's talk penis.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
