He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
