Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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