So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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