u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
