He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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