there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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