i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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