Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
