I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
