She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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