I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
