i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize