420 ftw
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
