Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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