I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So. Much. Porn.
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