I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
