you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
