Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
