and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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