Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
