Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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