well you can't waste a boner
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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