bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
