If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
