Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
