No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So much rum. So many feels.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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