He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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