Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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