she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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