Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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