Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
