I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
