"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
